Have you ever been ghosted by a prospect?

Being ghosted means you have a great meeting, you’re really excited and everyone promises to move forward with next steps, but then the prospect goes dark.

You call, email, hope to bump into them at the local coffee shop, but nothing.

It’s like they vanished into thin air. In your heart you are hurt and in your head you are mad at yourself for not earning more commitment.

No one likes to be ghosted, personally or professionally.

Don’t Get Ghosted

For many of us when this happens we retreat back to all the manners our mother taught us.

Don’t be too pushy.

Don’t seem to eager.

Don’t go running down to their office with cookies trying to find out what went wrong.

Instead we do much worse, we wait and we provide soft gentle follow ups.

If your follow up call sounds like: “Hi, its Kelly again. I’m sure you have been really busy. We just need to finalize a few things to get started. I’m here when you are ready. Call me, maybe?.”

You are in trouble with a capital T.

What is your follow up to that?

Pretty please with cherries and sprinkles will you call me?

Your follow up email may be even wimpier.

You Can’t Accommodate Your Way to the Sale

The problem is we were all taught that in order to earn business we need to be too accommodating.

Yes, I said it, too accommodating.

Leaving voicemails like that won’t get you very far.

When the prospect has to go to their current agent for a declaration page or loss run, you’re feeble attempts to court them will seem more foolish with every un-returned phone call.

Similar to the way a smoke detector alerts you when there is smoke, a non-responsive prospect should alert you that your sale is in jeopardy.

Now we can be peaceful and hope to win it or tell ourselves we rarely win on year one.

It’s also possible to go in the other direction and become a war time producer that is fierce, confident and takes control back of the sale.

Neither version wins 100% of the time.

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Being Bold Wins More Then it Loses

So we fear that by being bold we jeopardize our sale, but the truth is that by being bold we hit more long shots than we miss.

We win more business that we would have lost.

The question is are you willing to be bold, let go of the fear of the few people who will get turned off to take back control of your sale?

There are two items we like to practice with our clients on regaining control of the sale.

  • Break Up Email
  • Break Up Voicemail

Remember, you were ghosted, so it’s up to you to put the final nail in the coffin, not them.

The break up email can go something like this:


I just tried calling you again. I’m coming down to your area and thought if we were going to move forward, this would be a good opportunity for us to finalize what we need.

At this point I’ve tried to reach you a few times with no luck. Typically when I don’t hear back from someone it is one of two things.

1) You aren’t interested.
2) You are interested but have not had a chance to reach back out to me.

I’m going to close my file on you today. If you are in the first category, please continue to stay engaged with us online and reach back out at any time if you want to learn more about our products.

If you are in the second category, just shoot me a quick email and I will try to reach you next week. Or book a time on my calendar now which will also send you a meeting request to block off the time on your calendar here:

It’s polite but still firm and professionally asks for the courtesy of a response.

Now the break up voicemail can go something like this.

Hi Prospect Name.

This is NAME from AGENCY NAME. I wanted to reach out to you since I’ll be in your area on DATE. I have left several emails and voicemails for you.

Typically when I don’t hear back it’s either because you are no longer interested or you haven’t had a moment to return my calls.

If you can let me know either way I would sincerely appreciate the professional courtesy.

If I don’t hear back from you by Friday, I’m going to close your file however I am happy to be of service when the time is right for you.

See professional, easy and classy. Plus you take back control of the sale you know you have worked hard for!

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No One Wins in the Middle

You have to be willing to stand your ground with prospects that aren’t giving you the time of day.

If you do nothing, you’ll get nothing. It’s unlikely that person will magically wake up one morning, after what they consider a successful ghosting, and decide to call you.

Put all your cards on the table and see if they’re interested in playing one more hand.

At the very least, go ahead and try it. Don’t be worried if the first few are a little choppy!

Keep practicing and see what happens.

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